Hardship jokes

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

The second worst thing to happen to these orphans!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Orphans are stupid, am I right? Hehehehehehehehehehehe.

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

Hellen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

I broke my ankles so hard I had to walk uphill both ways.

Do you know how to make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until their parents come home.

What do orphans do after they win a game?

Nothing, they have no one to play games with.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

What TV series do orphans hate?

"House, M.D."

In life, some people have it harder than others.

That's why Viagra exists.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because when he was told "go big or go home," he only had one option.

What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?

Getting them to come out of their shell.

What do a priest and Life have in common?

They both get harder when kids are around.

What is an orphan's least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.