Misfortune jokes
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.
I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.
"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Orphans are depressed, hahaha.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?
Because they won't have a parent to cry to.
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.