A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.
"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Misfortune Jokes
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Orphans are depressed, hahaha.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?
Because they won't have a parent to cry to.
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
My dad is unlucky.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because no one loves them.
UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!
What did Sally get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!