Catastrophe jokes

The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...

The cat still died, why?

It had a Catastrophic Catcident.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.

What do maths and 9/11 have in common?

They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.

What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.

I rate you a 9/11.

How do terrorists feed their babies?

Here comes the airplane...

HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

You got a black cat.

He was bad luck.

Everyone left you and you committed suicide.

What a CATastrophe!

I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"

Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!

In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.

When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?

What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?

A doggone catastrophe!

Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.

It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.

Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.

Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.