Catastrophe jokes

The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...

The cat still died, why?

It had a Catastrophic Catcident.

What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?

A doggone catastrophe!

I rate you a 9/11.

When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?

You got a black cat.

He was bad luck.

Everyone left you and you committed suicide.

What a CATastrophe!

What do maths and 9/11 have in common?

They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.

How do terrorists feed their babies?

Here comes the airplane...

HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹

Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!

Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"

I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"

What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

Fall

It's been an hour since I crashed the tower.

SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!

Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.

In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.