Memory

Memory jokes

9/11

    • 9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

    It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

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    • Night

    • Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

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    • Parent

    • What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

    Nothing. They are both just memories.

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    • Old Man

    • An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"

    The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."

    The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"

    The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"

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    • Memory memes

    Marijuana

    • THIS IS A RHYME

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

    Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.

    Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,

    and they had a little fun.

    Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.

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    • Boob

    • Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

    I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

    Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

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    • Depression

    • Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

    My depression: hey, what's up!

    Me: go away.

    My depression: well how rude.

    Me: 🙄.

    My depression: remember that one time......

    Me: no, don't even.

    My depression: that we.....

    Me: nope.

    My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

    Me: 😳😶😟.

    My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

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    • Father

    • A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.

    The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.

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