Memory jokes

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.

It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.

Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.

Here [are] some questions firesharky:

1. What color hair do u have?

2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?

3. What state [were] u born in?

Do not say I don't know.

The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?

Answer: He's making family memories.

What makes a software developer feel rich?

Their cache.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.

Why is September 11th the best birthday? Because no one ever forgets it!

What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."

Nostalgia hits you like a train.

It's so hard, you can even wake up.

I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”

I wanna see this pic of me in a bra! Where do I find it?