Memory jokes

I will always remember my dad's last words...

Oh wait, I've never heard them.

Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?

It reminds him of last night.

Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?

A cop pulls over an old man.

The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The old man said, "No."

Why did Jimmy throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who knife-raped his wife.

You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?

A. I forget.

My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"

What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?

Their kneecaps.

You: I have a nice hairline.

Your friend: Since when do you have one?

You: I forgot.

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I used to think 11/11 was mistakenly 9/11.

You know who else has dementia?

Comments for answer.

I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"