ME jokes

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

They call me Juan, they call me Jose, but I'm Juan person.

Everybody loves guns!

Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.

Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂

Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.

My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.

Roses are red,

foxes are red,

I like your butt, let me touch it forever.

The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."

J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.

Guy: Oh, what is it?

J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.

Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?

Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

Teacher: Why do people snore?

Me: Because they sleep.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.

Snapchat- any.bry05

Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.

My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"

I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"

She said, "Why?"

I said, "'Cause it's your twin."

Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.