ME jokes

Phone

    • "Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"

    "Who was in the race?"

    "The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"

  • 2

    • Dwarf

    • This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."

  • 1
    • ME memes

    Missing child

    • Me: Brings in missing child.

    Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.

    Me: Oh, cool.

    NEXT DAY

    Me: Brings in 8 other kids.

    Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 4

    • Ex

    • Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

  • 2

    • Mississippi

    • My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

  • 3

    • Ghost

    • I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

  • 1

    • 9/11

    • I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

    "I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

  • 1

    • Demon Slayer

    • My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

    Me: Demon Slayer.

    My teacher: Why?

    The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

  • 2

    • Shotgun

    • A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

    The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

  • 1