ME jokes
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
What is an orphan's family reunion called?
Me time.
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
Memes
I will pay someone to kill me.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.