ME jokes
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Me: What do you call an orphan?
Friend: Homeless.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Memes
You. Me. Gas Station.
One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Me.
Me who?
Not me.
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
You're so ugly, that's why me and your hairline go far back.
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Want to do a titcock dance with me?
What's the difference between me and an orphan?
At least my dad came back.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).