ME jokes
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?
symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?
angela: Because you are the thot of the group.
symple: Well it takes one to know one.
symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"
angela: FUCK OFF!
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
El, can you grab me that bow?
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
If you don't have big Nyash,
Lower your voice while talking to me, you Mau Mau warrior. 😂😂😂
Holy cow!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Why the fuck is this guy calling me a crying bitch?
I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!
Sorry, cringy joke.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
Is it me, or was 9/11 too plane? I thought it would be more exciting.
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.