ME jokes
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! đ¤Ż
Mum: Why are you throwing a paper plane at the twins?
Me: đ
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
What's the difference between me and an orphan?
At least my dad came back.
Memes
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and weâre all slacking it off.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that youâre pretty, but you ainât. Youâre just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?
Me: More than you!
I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...
Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.
Today there was a line to punch me.
Yeah, that was the punch line.
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: âSorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.â
Second guy: âBetween me and you talking, thereâs almost no PUNCH line. Hah!â
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.