ME jokes
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Memes
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
You're so ugly, that's why me and your hairline go far back.
Want to do a titcock dance with me?
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Me imagining how Batman's hairline looks like.
Nobody: Me: His hairline kinda do look like a Batman symbol.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."