ME jokes

Wanna me to show you a joke?

*Points at face* Funny, right?

Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?

Person B: Let me check.

Person B: It's greenglish!

What do you call a green camel?

My parents left me.

A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.

I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.

Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollinnnnnn!

Spy: Hahaha.

Me: What?

Spy: Time to pick up your mother.

Me: Oh no....

I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!

Can you see me?

I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.

Fuck me.

This is a bad day for me.

Me.

The joke is as short as me.