ME jokes
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.
What is an orphan’s favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Me: "Hey, are your parents home?"
Orphan: "Stop calling here!"
Me in the corner.
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!