ME jokes

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.

Me: I know a good 9/11 joke, but it would probably go over your head.

The Twin Towers: No, it won’t.

POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.

:me😐

Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.

"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

What does 6 tell 7?

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.

Guy: Where are they then?

Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁