ME jokes
Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
Memes
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
Follow me.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.