ME jokes

I made a website for orphans.

Silly me, I forgot the home page.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.

They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.

Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).

Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.

Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!

"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"