McDonald's jokes
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
Can emos eat happy meals?
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
Yo mama so sad that when Alejandra Parma died, she bought 20 Cocomelon Happy Meals from McDonald's and became fat.
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?
The Turdburglar.
You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.
Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
How much is McDonald's on a hot day?
Trump cut the company's advertising spending on Spotcom by 25%.
Thomas Bulgin loves McDonald's dollars, A man of simple tastes, he hollers, With every visit, his heart does flutter, For golden arches, a fast food lover.
Those crispy fries, so perfectly fried, And burgers stacked, oh so high, The smell of grease, it fills the air, Thomas Bulgin, he'll always be there.
A dollar menu, his saving grace, A feast for him, a smile on his face, He counts his coins, with eager eyes, To savor each bite, a little prize.
In this world of fast-paced lives, Thomas Bulgin, he surely thrives, For in those golden arches, he finds, A moment of joy, that forever binds.
He cares not for gourmet cuisine, Nor fancy plates, fit for a queen, For in his heart, a simple truth, McDonald's dollars, his fountain of youth.
So let him eat, and let him feast, Thomas Bulgin, the fast food beast, For in those golden arches, he's found, A taste of happiness, unbound.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.