McDonald's jokes

What's the fastest thing on earth?

An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.

Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.

Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.

Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.

-E-

If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.

What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?

They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.

What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?

They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.

A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What kind of udder likes McDonald's?

Udderly unhealthy.

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!

Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."

Asian Grading scale: A- Average.

B- Half Average.

C- Stupid idiot!

D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!

F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!

I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.

What’s the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?

McDonald's has a drive through. Twin Towers has a fly through.

Can emos eat happy meals?

Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.