McDonald's

McDonald's jokes

Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.

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  • Morbid jokes

    What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?

    They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.

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  • Hairline

    Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.

    My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

    Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

    What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

    McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"

    When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."

    Thomas Bulgin loves McDonald's dollars, A man of simple tastes, he hollers, With every visit, his heart does flutter, For golden arches, a fast food lover.

    Those crispy fries, so perfectly fried, And burgers stacked, oh so high, The smell of grease, it fills the air, Thomas Bulgin, he'll always be there.

    A dollar menu, his saving grace, A feast for him, a smile on his face, He counts his coins, with eager eyes, To savor each bite, a little prize.

    In this world of fast-paced lives, Thomas Bulgin, he surely thrives, For in those golden arches, he finds, A moment of joy, that forever binds.

    He cares not for gourmet cuisine, Nor fancy plates, fit for a queen, For in his heart, a simple truth, McDonald's dollars, his fountain of youth.

    So let him eat, and let him feast, Thomas Bulgin, the fast food beast, For in those golden arches, he's found, A taste of happiness, unbound.

    Asian Grading scale: A- Average.

    B- Half Average.

    C- Stupid idiot!

    D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!

    F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!

    What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?

    Not getting the job at McDonald’s.