McDonald's jokes
What has four legs and works at McDonald's?
The remaining members of Nirvana.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
Yo mama so fat, she ate McDonald's!
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
Thomas Bulgin loves McDonald's dollars, A man of simple tastes, he hollers, With every visit, his heart does flutter, For golden arches, a fast food lover.
Those crispy fries, so perfectly fried, And burgers stacked, oh so high, The smell of grease, it fills the air, Thomas Bulgin, he'll always be there.
A dollar menu, his saving grace, A feast for him, a smile on his face, He counts his coins, with eager eyes, To savor each bite, a little prize.
In this world of fast-paced lives, Thomas Bulgin, he surely thrives, For in those golden arches, he finds, A moment of joy, that forever binds.
He cares not for gourmet cuisine, Nor fancy plates, fit for a queen, For in his heart, a simple truth, McDonald's dollars, his fountain of youth.
So let him eat, and let him feast, Thomas Bulgin, the fast food beast, For in those golden arches, he's found, A taste of happiness, unbound.
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!