What’s the difference between Geico and a wife? Geico saves you more.
Man walks in to his bedroom where his wish is carrying a sheep under his arm and says this is the pig I've been fucking.wife says that's not a pig that's a sheep dumbass.husband says I was talking to the sheep
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
Farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm says this is the pig I'm fucking she say u idiot that's a sheep he says shut up I wasn't talking to you
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest, he goes to tell his wife. Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
If two Stoners get married, do they have Joint assets?
Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he's too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck
wife: stop telling rape jokes, its not funny. husband: who raped you this morning?
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.” Patient: “OK.” Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye! Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
do you know why orphans cant get married. because they will never get there parents blessing
1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do...
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes
He hugged me!
So a husband and a wife have three kids. the husband is on his death bed and he looks up at his wife and says. "Honey, is our youngest song truly and honestly mine?" She says in response. "I sware on everything that is good and holy our youngest son is your" He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breathe, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn...
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
Why God did create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people, and less fun.
How do emos propose
Would you like to join my family tree
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
