Man jokes
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.
What’s a gay man’s favorite cereal?
Froot Loops
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
I love big hot sexy men.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.