Man jokes

Man: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.

Man: Oh, here's your rope.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russell

A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?

The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?

Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.

A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?

One was born burnt.

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.

A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.

A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"

Why do women like Pac-Man so much?

How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?

Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?

He got corn-ered!

Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?

A: Because he is a "herbefore."

What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?

Panera bread serving food.

A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.

Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...

I love big hot sexy men.

So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"

So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."

My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.

Man #2: My son died at level 4.

Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.