Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Man Jokes
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
My brother when he sees a girl.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
Transgenders! Men in disguise!
What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
Man, I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
