Man jokes
The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
What did the tower say to the other?
"Man, someone's on fire today!"
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
Memes
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
Why did the man cross the road?
Because he wanted to. :) :) :)
Lady: Will you fuck me?
Man: No, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.
Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."