Man jokes

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

I ate a man because he was dead!

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

What do you call a movie about an orphan?

The Bat Man.

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?

Wasted.

My dick harder than stone, man.

Why do orphans like Spider-Man?

'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.

What do you call a man in love with an emo?

I really don't know.

Why do orphans have no parents?

Because it was Batman!

What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.

Iron Man is just a golden retriever with a red background.

What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"