Man jokes
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
My dick harder than stone, man.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.
I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!
Memes
I ate a man because he was dead!
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
Why is the blind man so close to the door?
He can't see it.
Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."