Man jokes
So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
quit comical
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
Sorry man... I kinda messed those things up.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
Why do men have penises? They gotta shut women up somehow.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
What do Batman and a Black man have in common?
Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!
Unknown: Okay!
Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!
Unknown whispering: Sexy!
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"