Man jokes

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

"White beta males and fake alpha males are a joke that goes for POC men too."

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."

The officer said, "There is no traffic."

The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?

One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.

What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.

I bet you like men!

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"

What is a gay man's favorite job?

A blowjob.

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.

"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."

No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.

Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.