Man jokes

Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.

Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.

Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?

"Freak out!"

A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

A man with a drum.

"Well, tell him to beat it!"

"Scoop pa tun manaa?"