Scoop jokes
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
Memes
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
"Scoop pa tun manaa?"
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Memes
Checkmate
Community
Pretty crazy to watch the American government collapsing in real time like this.
I wish the internet existed the way it did in the early 2000s during the Soviet union. I'd love to read message boards describing what people thought 5-10 years before the whole thing broke down.
And then the aftermath of people picking at the corpse and becoming absurdly wealthy after scooping up those state assets.
Republicans have … Read more
Chapter One Part one - Foundations Nevelah was not always a Nevelah—a carcass. It was once the creator of all humanity. A young man named Mavet. Mavet was the first and only human to exist, born when the Earth collided with the Spear of Organs. The Spear, now a shield protecting the Earth and all of "human," brought forth a being far from understanding. The word "human" itself comes from Nevelai, the original langua… Read more
Poopy-di scoop Scoop-diddy-whoop Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop Poop-di-scoopty Scoopty-whoop Whoopity-scoop, whoop-poop Poop-diddy, whoop-scoop Poop, poop Scoop-diddy-whoop Whoop-diddy-scoop Whoop-diddy-scoop, poop - Kanye West