Man jokes

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.

How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!

Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.

Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.

Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.

What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

Suck a big cock.

What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?

Suck his big cock.

Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.

I saw an orphan take a selfie... oh man, that was one alone family photo.

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.

Girlfriend: No.

Boyfriend: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you want sex.

Boyfriend: No, I don't.

NEXT MINUTE

The man could hear banging.

A disabled man stands up.

A blind man says, "You can stand?"

A deaf man says, "You can see?"

A mute person says, "You can hear?"

The disabled man says, "You can talk!"

Doctor: "What the actual f**k"

What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?

A leaf.

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

Ur mom gay.

What is a gay man's favorite hobby?

Cockfighting.

Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.

Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.