Man jokes
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
Memes
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?
Suck his big cock.
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
I saw an orphan take a selfie... oh man, that was one alone family photo.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
Man, Uranus is so big!
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
100% of them are like him!
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.