Make a jokes

Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?

A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.

I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.

People are still scratching their heads over it.

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

What do you call a singer who can't make a song?

Taylor Swift.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.

What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?

2 slices of Brad.

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "I’m telling everybody!"

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

How do you make a lesbian upset?

Give her a multiplication test.

How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.

They're making a new Alien movie.

There are so many aliens you can't keep track.

Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Why don't booties make good drummers?

They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.