Make a jokes
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
What do you call a singer who can't make a song?
Taylor Swift.
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
How does a rapper make a burrito?
With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"