Look jokes

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

Oh, look! It's Uranus!

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.

You look like you're playing hide-and-seek with your hairline.

Hairline look like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

Go to the replies, look at the top and it will say "in your mum."

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!

Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.

Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.

Your hairline looks like the stairway to hell.

Bent and far back.

Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

Q: Why did the math book look so sad?

A: Because of all its problems.

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)