I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
I’m reading a book on antigravity right now.
It’s impossible to put down.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
Your mom's a lead, Poe.
"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”
Why can’t he just speak plain English?
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."
This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Charlie.
Charlie who?
Charlie Brown! Good grief!
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.
Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!
Sauron said, "Eye see all."
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
