How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
Literature Jokes
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
Who is the most famous skeleton? Sherlock Bones.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.
Down will come dummy, cradle and all.
Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?
Because he Neverlands!
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
The clock struck one!
Then down did come!
Hickory dickory doc
What am I?
Random- a mouse?
Me- no dumb shit!
Random- what is it?
Me- the guillotine!
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am gay, so are you.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.
Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Roses are gay, violets are also gay. If you read, you are gay.
What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?
Looks like I've only got myself to blame...
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?