Playwright jokes

When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.

Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?

What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?

"To be and not to be."

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."

What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?

Shakespeare.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.

Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.

I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.