Like jokes
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
Memes
It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
I like dildos.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.