Like jokes
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
Think like a proton--stay positive!
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.