Like jokes
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
Memes
If you non-band kids were wondering what band looks like
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
I like dildos.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.