Like jokes

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.

Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.

Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.

Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.

Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.

My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.

I like dildos.

Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!

Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!

You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."

Like if you laugh.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.