Like jokes
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.