Like jokes

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

What instruments do skeletons like to play?

Trombones.

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

Why do orphans like going to church?

Because they actually get to say "father" for once.

What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?

Pony-tails.

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.

Ice cream is just like I scream.

Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.

I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.

Doctor: I see your point!

Your head looks like a joke.

Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.

A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.

Roses are red, I like weed,

If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."