Like jokes

Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.

What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?

Pony-tails.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

I like ramen. If you do, like!

What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.

What instruments do skeletons like to play?

Trombones.

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

Doctor, what is wrong with me?

You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

Your head looks like a joke.

Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.

Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?

Because they are Sith-ters.