Like jokes
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.
How sad and pathetic is it that all you wait for after you finish a suicidal joke is for people to like your joke, but you know you'll just be a failure at that as well?
I like Uranus.
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
Haven’t gotten to the ones I like the most.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?
They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
Take a step back... just like your hairline did.
1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.