Like jokes

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?

Answer: Because he sucks!

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

What do black lesbians say about pussy?

"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."

What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!

My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.

Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.

"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"