Like jokes
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
What kind of paper likes music? Wrapping paper.
Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.
Me: Do you like cobble?
My friend: No.
Me: Gobble deez nuts!
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
"Proud Boys," more like insecure little bitches!
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈
Why do orphans read BL or GL?
Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.
I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.