Like jokes
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Me: Do you like cobble?
My friend: No.
Me: Gobble deez nuts!
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.
What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.
Because it’s empty inside.
I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.
Why do orphans not like July 24th??
Because it's Parents Day.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!