Like jokes

"Squid Game" doll be like: "Gugu la gu, your mom, my balls!"

I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...

Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

I like mangoes.

What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?

The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)

The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)

Thanks for reading this...bye!

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."

Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?

He's white on the inside.

He's orange on the outside.

And then there's that stick!

Like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school.

Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???

Daina (😌): I know, right?

To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!

Why do dogs like skeletons?

Because they're boneheads.

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.