Like jokes

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...

- But?

- ...

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

The boys joking be like:

One guy: "Balls!"

All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"

Life is like a bag of jellybeans.

Nobody likes the black ones.

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"Drop it like it's HOT!"

I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

COVID is like fashion...

We started hearing about it in Italy...

Became popular in LA and NYC...

Florida ignored it...

And it was all made in China in the end.

I like your cut, G.

*Slaps really hard*

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.

There’s no hope.

I asked my sister to say something.

She said, "No."

That's what I like to hear.

I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.