Like jokes

A good bath is like a dead lover.

You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.

What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?

Afterbirth.

True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.

The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"

Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"

What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?

I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."

I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.

Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.

POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.

To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.

Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!

Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!

Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!

Poke him on!

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

Why do orphans love getting r@ped?

Because they want to know what love feels like.

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

If I get 50 likes on this, I swear. 🦋

I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.

My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.

I like my kids like I like my lamps.

Hung from the ceiling.

How do two emo kids greet each other?

"I like ya cut, G."