Like jokes
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
Like if you love God and Jesus.
Memes
FOR REAL
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
Like if you think oily men are hot.
Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first?
Jack: Bad News first.
Mother: I'm dying!
Jack: Mother, I said bad news first.
Mother: *cries*
Jack was never seen again.
I like zebras.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."