Like jokes
Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.
But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
Depression jokes are wrong, stop making them; they're cruel and nasty. So stop; people are feeling like they're hated when they read your orphan jokes or depression jokes, so PLEASE stop.
Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
Like if you love God and Jesus.
That chromosome gon' leave just like your hairline. 😗😮😮
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
Two plus two is four. Minus one, that's three, quick maths. Every day, man's on the block. Smoke trees (Ah). See your girl in the park. That girl is a uckers. When the ting went quack-quack-quack You man were ducking (You man ducked). Hold tight, Asznee (My brudda). He's got the pumpy (Big ting). Hold tight, my man (My guy). He's got the frisbee (Few). I trap, trap, trap on the phone Movin' that cornflakes (Uh). Rice Krispies. Hold tight, my girl Whitney (My G). On, on, on, on, on the road doin' 10 toes Like my toes (Like my toes). You man thought I froze. I see a peng girl, then I pose (Chilin'). If she ain't on it, I ghost. Hah, look at your nose (Check your nose, fam). You donut. Nose long like garden hose.
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.