Life jokes
You have 10 to live.
“Wait, as in 10 minutes?”
10, 9, 8...
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Why does this exist?
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
Bro told me this when he passed away.
I’m “Fading.”
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
I hope Death is a woman.
That way, it will never come for me.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.