Life jokes
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because his options were to go bigger or go home. He only had one choice. :)
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂
People love you.
Don't die.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
What does the F in orphan stand for?
FAMILY ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
*IT'S DEPRESSING THIS PAGE EXISTS*
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.