Who needs singles day when your single for the rest of your life!
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like bitch we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with.
The 3 life rules 1. 2. 3. oh there are no rules cus u have no life
I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
YouTubers: Among us in real life Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life
I would I new life but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
My mom said i need Jesus in my life, So I drunk up the holy water ;}.
Yea man! Life is wonderful! But, when u realise all of the ones u loved we're fake. And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice. Is 13 age too young for dying? Am i just paranoid? I'm scared.
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
what do rapists like to suck?
the life out of their victim
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Dad: Ill pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie Next day: Dad: son what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen? Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life gosh dad your embarrassing. The dad sulked for 3 whole years Proof that words really can hurt
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years
I think about my life and then I think about death I perfer death if you ask me life is just a time when you die basicly death life is meaning less 0-0
My life is meaningless that i made a crime just to get shot 0-0 This is not a joke this is just about death...
life is karma... because I was born god gifted me with socially awkwardness, $#!t athletic skills, and stupidity
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
