POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
Roses are red, oranges are orange. Get a life, quit watching porn.
What do you call black Man having a seizure? Chocolate shake
You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.
what does a orphan and a military man not have in common, neither gets to go back home
Playing soccer in a wheelchair basically rocket league in real life
You know I wish life shorter? I want it over
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama? A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
What song do you play at a emo kids funeral House of Pain jump around
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old
why don't you have a life? because ur ugly
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once
Your mom is so dumb, that somebody told her 'go get a life', she go play Super Mario, and get an 1-up.
I found a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems. So I bought 2.
What record did Obama proved during his presidency No matter how far a brotha gets in life he’ll still be in government housing
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
do you want to give your life to God and be in heaven
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says: 'Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears, says 'But doctor... I am Pagliacci.'
What is the three worst years of a black child's life First grade
