Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
