Lesbian jokes
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.
I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
Why do I tell bad jokes?
I'm a lesbian.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.