Lesbian jokes
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.
I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.