What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger-gun👉👌
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
