Lesbian jokes
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Q: What do you call a hot lesbian who smokes weed?
A: A high femme.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What do you call a lesbian? Me.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger-gun👉👌
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Why do I tell bad jokes?
I'm a lesbian.
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.