Lesbian jokes

One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:

Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.

What do lesbian vampires say after sex?

"See you next month."

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"

She pulls out a knife and fork.

Ur dad lesbian.

Ur sister a mister.

Ur family tree LGBT.

Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.

What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.

What do you call lesbian twins?

Lick-A-Likes.

How did the lesbian die? Homicide.

What do you call two Chinese lesbians?

Two can't chew.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.

You're so ugly you make gay/lesbian people straight!

What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon? Squirtle.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?

The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.

The gay couple was still packing their shit.

What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?

A biplane.