Lesbian jokes
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
You're so ugly you make gay/lesbian people straight!
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger-gun👉👌
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."