Lesbian jokes
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
Oh, you need a lesbian joke?
Uhh... gimme a second....
Me???
What do dogs and lesbian women have in common?
They're both lickers and called a bitch.
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!