Lesbian jokes
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
Why do I tell bad jokes?
I'm a lesbian.
Memes
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.