Lesbian jokes
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.