Lesbian jokes
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
Oh, you need a lesbian joke?
Uhh... gimme a second....
Me???
I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.
I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.